Originally posted on my blog.
Brian’s song
WHAT the hell? Brian’s narrating this one? Oh hell nooooo. I do not like this. Bring back Angela! That was pretty much my reaction when I first saw this episode and realised it diverged from the usual format. The thought of being privy to the workings of Brian’s brain wasn’t appealing. And it didn’t help that as the episode begins, Brian is spying on Angela and her family via a telephoto lens. Typical creepy Krakow. Except this episode humanises Brian a bit more. We learn there’s more to his feelings for Angela than just teenage lust, and that he’s more than aware that he often acts like a jerk.
We are Brian
My new theory of Brian is that we often find him annoying because he encapsulates so many qualities we’d all like to think we don’t have: he’s uncool, he’s self-righteous, he’s selfish, and even when he knows he shouldn’t do something, that he’ll hurt someone, he does it anyway. Plus, when it comes to the girl he loves, he lets himself get kicked around. He sets himself up for heartbreak. He is a whole lot of pathetic, basically. A little too real.
But I have more empathy for Brian this time around. I loved re-watching this bittersweet episode and its insight into his soul, which is surprisingly poetic. When he observes that Angela’s hair smells “…like this orange grove we passed when I was eight on the way to see my grandmother.” Beat. “But I guess that’s just like her shampoo or whatever.” It’s not clear whether he knows how funny he is, but it is clear he’s capable of deep feeling. Shame his practical personality often gets in his way. It’s one reason Angela always finds him disappointing, but it’s probably a useful survival mechanism. School — heck, life — has been thoroughly underwhelming for Brian so far, and he doesn’t want to get his hopes up.
Angst and all that good stuff
This episode shows everything that MSCL does brilliantly: teen angst, unsatisfactory conversations full of subtext, a glimpse into the darker side of teenage alienation (Rickie’s tears are truly heartbreaking), and a demonstration of the fact that anticipation is so often anathema to a good time. I’m not sure any other teen show has portrayed a teenager coming to terms with his sexuality so openly, or made it seem so real. Still, I like to think in season two Rickie didn’t feel so alone in a crowd.
There are so many top-notch scenes: the bonding between Graaam and Brian, which I always kinda saw as foreshadowing a possible father-in-law/son-in-law relationship (no, really), Angela kind-of-but-not-really asking Jordan to the dance and his baffled response. (“There’s a dance?”), every scene with Rickie, and the scenes between Brian and Delia Fisher, from the time he realises they could have a relationship (“Maybe this is what people mean, when they talk about like, life.”) to the awful stuttering moment he crushes her hopes — and takes so LONG to do it.
Brian could have had a nice time with Delia, if he’d let his fantasy of him and Angela go. He’s too masochistic for that, though, and (surprisingly) too romantic. The selfishness of the teenagers is accurate, I think, and more honestly rendered than other shows. And yet it’s a bit romanticised too, enough to make it watchable. (To paraphrase what Angela says in the pilot about the school yearbook, if they made a show about what really happens, it would be a really upsetting show.)
Dancing lesson
I love this episode so much, and yet it gnaws my stomach, as I’m transported to the school dances (OK, discos) of my youth: how much they were hyped, and how disappointing they inevitably were. How I was always waiting for something exciting to happen, to make me feel good, but it so rarely did. How even when I was dancing my heart out, I felt like I was missing something. I had my own Delia Fisher moments, dancing through the pain of knowing no boy was ever interested in me, I didn’t have (m)any friends, I couldn’t cope with science and I wasn’t one of the pretty girls. Those moments were devastating.
Last time round, I projected those feelings onto Delia and Rickie, assuming their defiant shape-throwing to “What is Love?” was an act of bravado. This time round, I think it’s more than that. I think they’re choosing to not let the bastards get them down. I think they’re dancing for their lives. They’re choosing to be happy, even if it’s just for the length of a song. In doing so, they’re an example to Sharon, Jordan, Angela, and Brian, who all feel too disaffected or too dejected to even try to have fun. In the face of despair, and rejection, and the fear that you’ll always be left out, what else can you do but dance like nobody’s watching?
Whew. I’ve rambled on far more than I intended to and, I hope, far more than I will next week (although that is one of my top three episodes, so we’ll see) but I’d still love to hear your thoughts on this one. Leave a comment, write your own blog post, or get all social media about it — whatever works.
“That was yesterday. What are you gonna write today?” — Vic, episode 6, My So-Called Life*
You know what we did last summer
As you know if you’re reading this blog, in July 2010, a group of us started re-watching (or in the case of a couple of people, watching for the first time) seminal/wonderful ’90s cult classic My So-Called Life, discussing it on Twitter as we watched.
Sadly, life intervened, and after I’d said, “Sorry, I can’t do it this week,” a few too many times, we pressed pause on the project and this blog looked a little (more) emo.
But lately there’s been demand from at least two people to bring it back, so that’s what I think we should do. After all, most of the really great episodes are still ahead.
My proposal, should you choose to accept it, is to continue re-watching My So-Called Life from the week starting 28 Feb. In case you missed out before or have completely forgotten where we were (I had to look it up), we’ll pick up with with episode 11: Life of Brian, which I can’t wait to see again.
This time it’s different:
Instead of all trying to watch the same episode at the same time, which was rarely convenient, this time round the goal will just be for all of us to watch it at some point in the same week. Instead of all tweeting at once, anyone who wants to can still tweet about the episode (using the same old hashtag, #MSCLRW) but I’ll also write a short blog post about my impressions of the episode, probably towards the end of each week. (I’ll cross-post it here and on my Wordpress blog.)
And it will be SO much more fun if other re-watchers comment and maybe even write blog posts of their own.
You know you want to
Anyone ready to toss their hat into the ring and scream “Yee-haw, I’m in!”? (Or to be a bit more programme-appropriate, shuffle up to me, stare at your shoes and and mumble that you suppose you could do it, jeez, stop pressuring me.)
If you’ve never seen MSCL, there’s still time to order a copy and have a DVD binge to catch up — the box set is less than £6 at Amazon right now. (I also hear rumours that some of the eps are on some video-sharing site or something…?)
In the meantime, you can read (or re-read) our thoughts on the previous ten episodes or find out what Angela Chase means to me.
*Thanks to the lovely Kylie for reminding me of this quote.
TV Show Time Machine: My So-Called Life -
This link [careful if you haven’t seen the show yet: it’s spoilery] was submitted I’m not sure how long ago (I check my Tumblr messages too infrequently) but is another personal perspective on MSCL that I definitely relate to. Thanks for sharing!
We’re going to be coming back next month. IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG.
My So-Called Life Re-watched: Episode 10, Other People’s Mothers -
Oh hai. We’re over here this week. Pls click.
My So-Called Life is always good, but sometimes it’s great. Wonderful. Perfection.
This is not one of those times. This is one of the weaker episodes, not least for its unwelcome foray into the paranormal.
I know Americans make a much bigger deal of October 31 than we do, but I’ve never appreciated the Halloween special so many programmes do, and it’s disappointing MSCL felt it had to join in. Still, we’ll hit the sweet spot of a clutch of great episodes after this, so we ploughed on through.
Here’s what @Keris, @Novelicious, @cloverness and I had to say:
@dianeshipley Things that don’t interest me: ghosts and spirits.
@Keris I hate fancy dress. Can’t think that I’ve ever done it.
@cloverness I was too afraid to ever wear a costume to school.
@Novelicious Love how everyone gets so exasperated with Krakow. Except for Rickie :)
@Keris I used to have hair almost exactly like Brian’s in this episode:
@Keris Oh wow. LOVING Danielle’s Angela impression. LOVING.
@Novelicious Danielle’s Angela impression is my fave part of this episode!
@clovernesss I miss trick or treating. I’d have run after Danielle too.
@cloverness She wants him to leave her tights on? That’s not going to work!
@Keris This Graaam and Patty role playing is giving me the heebies.
@Novelicious Enjoyed because it’s MSCL but not my favourite episode. Doesn’t quite fit with the rest IMHO.
@dianeshipley He won’t die like Nicky Driscoll did! Eh. I hate Halloween episodes.
@clovernesss Next ep is one that always gets to me, with all the mom issues. Looking forward to it.
The next MSCLRW? 1pm (UK time), Twitter — Tuesday after next. (12th October.) Join us!
Tomorrow, episode 9, 1 PM British time. Take the day off work and join us on Twitter! (And by us, I’m hoping I don’t just mean “me”.)
ETA: recap coming oh-so-very-soon. Life this week suddenly got interesting. (Which reminded me of the MSCL quote, “It’s like your life just decided how to get good, like, that second.” (I’m pretty sure that’s almost right.)
If I die tell everyone I loved them.
I will never look at him the same again….
I agree with the comment above.
Oh dear. Wow. Um… he leans great?
Is he wearing a brooch?
30 Seconds To Mars 'Amazed' By VMA Best Rock Video Win -
Well done Jordan Catalano!
This week’s re-watching was a somewhat desultory affair; only two of us watched, and we had to postpone a day because of er, my hair. Also, not the best episode. They’re all well-written and acted, obvs, but this one’s kinda maudlin, and features a lot of Graaaam being self-obsessed and annoying.
One thing that makes it worth watching is the Sharon-Angela storyline: we see their backstory, they make peace with each other about growing apart, and the scene where they both burst into tears is so moving. I’m mega impressed with how well they both cry. (And I’m a crier, so I know.)
Anyhoozle, here’s what Keris and I had to say on the day:
@Keris Wait. They’re showing the patients on CCTV? Seriously?
@dianeshipley Ha! That would have totally been me, craving food
@Keris Oh thank god Graaam stopped it. No one wants to see the oldies getting it on. ;)
@dianeshipley Poor Patti. Foiled again.
@Keris Yep. If the thought of his impending death doesn’t get him hot, what will?!
@dianeshipley The bit where Jordan turns to hug her… melty. Also, I really wanted a jacket like his, with the sheepskin lining.
@Keris Graaam is such a big baby.
@dianeshipley But Patti always underestimates him.
@dianeshipley God, these girls are good at crying.
@Keris I was just thinking that! Doing the squeaky voice thing!
@dianeshipley Not my fave episode, but I do like that ending.
@Keris Agreed. I like that she and Sharon sorted things out.
@dianeshipley Me too. It’s so perfectly bittersweet.
I’m taking next week off due to family commitments; hopefully we’ll start up again the week after. Check the hashtag #MSCLRW for news on Twitter if you want to join us.
